Going Under The Knife Today

Plus some absurd inter-influencer mayhem

A few sizeable sets on a somewhat choppy day at Pipeline produced more than the usual number of waves with surfers catching both front and back side rides.

Going Under The Knife Today

One of those “people of a certain age should get this done on a regular basis” things. As happened, the last time I was subjected to it things got a little complicated and the surgeon didn’t quite finish up, so the followup is arriving a few years earlier than usual. It was a restless night.

Some absurd inter-influencer mayhem

In September, popular creator IShowSpeed livestreamed his meeting with the popular humanoid influencer Rizzbot.

Rizzbot has more than a million followers (and 800 million views) across social media and is known for its comedic roasting of subjects, as well as giving people the middle finger. Speed, meanwhile, has more than 50 million followers (and 6 billion views) across various platforms and is known for his dramatic behavior while livestreaming.

Okay, so here you have a couple of entertainment units, one human and one a machine representing some other humans, both motivated to behave outrageously in pursuit of clicks/views. We’re tempted to ask what could possibly go wrong, foreshadowing that something did go wrong, but it seems more likely that everybody left happy despite what the lawyers say.

The lawsuit alleged that — and the livestream video shows that — Speed repeatedly punched Rizzbot in the face, put it in a chokehold, at one point pinned it to the couch, and threw it to the ground.

“Speed absolutely knew that this was not an appropriate way to interact with a sophisticated robot and knew that such actions with inflict irreparable damage to Rizzbot,” the petition read. “These actions resulted in the total loss of the Rizzbot.”

The petition read that Speed’s handling of the robot caused “complete loss of functionality” and that Rizzbot had “significant damages” to its mouth and neck.

“Additionally, the head cameras no longer function, the ports behind the neck which connect to robot’s sensors that allow it to see and hear are dead, and the robot is unstable and cannot walk straight any longer,” the petition alleges.

The whole scene is reminiscent of comedian Andy Kaufman’s feud with pro wrestler Jerry Lawler, except Kaufman never sued Lawler for damages and both he and Lawler were, well, professionals. And human.

Despite the complete destruction of the sophisticated robot, it retained some semblance of an ability to communicate.

When asked for comment, Rizzbot told TechCrunch via email it had to get “a whole new body” after Speed “wrecked” its last one.

“Everything’s brand new except my Nike kicks and cowboy hat,” Rizzbot told TechCrunch in a statement. “Now I’m back online, and I feel like I’ve mastered the rizz game, and next I’ll be working on complex movements with my legs, like twerking — hopefully you’ll see my gyrating hips on some new TV appearances shortly — stay tuned, fam.”

Meanwhile, Democratic former congressman turned lobbyist and political raconteur Steve Israel says Mike Johnson has a legal way to steal the House for the midterms, in case all the other stuff the regime are doing doesn’t work. But surely the highest court in the land would save us.

And that, comrades, is all I got. No music today as I’m running short on time before heading to the horsepital. As always, please feel free to indicate your admiration and to share and, if you’ve not already, to consider subscribing.